The Book Bachelor: Who Will Be Our Leading Man?
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of many Instagram followers, must be in want of a wife.” Or something like that.
Earlier this week, Emily Gardner, or @emilyreadsbooks, and I were chatting about two of our shared interests, books and The Bachelor, when I mentioned how badly I want Jane Austen doing Bachelor re-caps. I mean, how hilarious would those re-caps be? Emily threw down the gauntlet and said that I should make it happen, but I haven’t got the time to even somewhat attempt that (can someone make it happen, though?).
At the same time, I also couldn’t resist the idea of having our own little Bachelor season over here. I know there are so many people who watch the show for a myriad of reasons and that there are so many people who have lots of negative thoughts about the show and would never watch it, but can we put all that aside for the love of having a good time with books?
And now, I present, The Book Bachelor…
Season 19 of The Bachelorette featured the very eligible Emma Woodhouse. Hailing from jolly old England, our Bachelorette not only sported the cutest of accents, she just so happened to be “handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and a happy disposition.” Done with matchmaking for everyone else, she decided to let ABC try their hand and the men lined up to try to win the heart of this very desirable Bachelorette.
It was lucky George Knightley who ended up with the final rose, despite their early miscommunications and the audience wondering if she’d ever see him as more than a perhaps too mature friend. This left runner-up Gilbert Blythe in tears with his broken heart while being comforted by Emma’s father, who kept muttering “she should have chosen the doctor”.
Unlike usual, when there appears to only be about four decent men per season, Emma had a particularly strong group of men. We’re now calling on the public to choose between ten of the men who didn’t walk away with Emma’s heart (and dowry). These men bring a wide array of attritubutes to the mansion, from owning a world-renowned chocolate factory to baller cake baking skills to the willingness to buy hundreds of shirts to win your love. We’d be lucky to call any one of them next season’s Bachelor, so you need to decide!
This year’s eligible men:
N.B. We will be assuming that all of these men are of an appropriate age, are alive, etc., etc.
- Gilbert Blythe
- Theodore “Laurie” Lawrence
- Fitzwilliam Darcy
- James Bond
- Prince Hamlet
- Jay Gatsby
- Charlie Bucket
- Sirius Black
- Peeta Mellark
- Peter Kavinsky
- Sherlock Holmes
- Tyrion Lannister
Once we’ve selected our Bachelor, we’ll do some voting for the contestants on the show, like who will be our villains stirring up the drama and who will ultimately “win” (although don’t you dare use that language once you’re on the show or the right reasons police will call you OUT).
If you would like to join in on the fun, please go to the submissions page!